Mormon Madness

Now don’t get me wrong, it’s a free country and you can believe whatever you want. But I think religious views should be treated the same as political views. They should be regularly discussed debated and criticised. If you say something bizarre in a political debate you should be pulled up on it. Likewise if a religion has bizarre beliefs it should not exempted from criticism. Which brings me to the topic of this blog. While it is a fact that every single religion has bizarre parts (2 every animal was able to fit in the Ark, snakes talking people into eating apples, virgins giving birth etc.) However the Mormons are in a league of their own. Their teachings are so ridiculously absurd it’s a wonder how anyone can take them seriously. As there is a chance Mitt Romney, a Mormon, might become President, it’s a good idea to see what the 14 million Mormons believe.

Mormons (or The Church Of Latter Day Saints, to use its official title) was founded by Joseph Smith. Who was he? Well in 1826 he was arrested and accused of being “a disorderly person and an impostor.” His scam (popular at the time) was to use magic “seer stones” to help people find buried gold (for a small price of course). This should make you suspicious especially as the Smith claimed to have used “seer stones” to find gold plates with ancient writing on it. He declared that no one but himself could look at these plates or they would die. So there is no evidence proving these plates existed (although some Mormons claimed to have visions of them which still doesn’t prove anything). He translated the plates from Egyptian (using the magic stones of course) and these became the book of Mormon.

The Book of Mormon is an incredibly dull and repetitive book. Huge chunks of it are plagiarised from the Bible. It tells an incredibly absurd story and is filled with inconsistencies (such as people using steel hundreds of years before it was invented). It claims that a Jewish tribe sailed from Israel to America 2500 years ago where they set up a civilisation with cows, horses and other animals that didn’t reach America until the first colonist brought them over. There is not a shred of evidence to support any of his claims.

Mormons have many ridiculous beliefs. First of all they believe God lives near a planet called Kolob. In fact God was once a man but latter achieved God like powers. This applies to Mormons today, if they meet the requirements, when they die they will one day become Gods of their own planet. They believe that the Garden of Eden is located in Missouri and that Jesus visited America after his crucifixion. All Mormons wear special underwear at all times to remind them of their connection to God (just in case they forget their Mormons). All Mormons keep a year’s supply of food stored away in case the world ends (as you do). The Mormons are probably best known for the original belief that men could have as many wives as they wish (but not the other way around). They abolished this rule in 1890. They are forbidden to have alcohol, coffee, tea, caffeine or any hot drinks

The Mormon Church was deeply racist for most of its history. Black people could not become priests (which are a requirement of all “members in good standing”) until 1978. It used to be taught that when Cain (son of Adam and Eve) killed his brother Abel, God cursed him by turning his skin black and that’s where black people come from. Even if a person had a black ancestor they couldn’t be priests. Joseph Smith himself declared that  “Had I anything to do with the negro, I would confine them by strict law to their own species.”Brigham Young (who replaced Smith as head of the Church when he died) declared that they “became so wicked that God cursed them with this dark and benighted and loathsome condition.” He went on to say that “Shall I tell you the law of God in regard to the African race?  If the white man who belongs to the chosen seed mixes his blood with the seed of Cain, the penalty, under the law of God, is death on the spot.” However there is hope for black people because by converting to Mormonism their skin will turn white. (2nd Nephi 30:6, 3 Nephi 2:14)

There are some not so pretty parts of the Mormon faith, such as the requirement to donate 10% of your gross income to the church. Failing to do so means you are no longer a “member in good standing”. You also are not told the secret password and secret handshake you need to get into heaven. Not I’m not saying this means you can buy your way to Mormon heaven . . . but if you make that conclusion I won’t contradict you.

The weird/unfair part of most religions is that non-believers cannot go to heaven even if they never heard of the religion and so could not convert. For example, Christianity condemns the Chinese for not believing but it is hardly their fault that they never heard of Jesus. Or what about all the people who died before Jesus was born? Mormons deal with this problem by automatically baptising the dead. This raises two problems. What if that person did not want to be a Mormon? You live your whole life as a good practicing Catholic then you die and get turned into a Mormon? Secondly someone thought it was a good idea to get a list of the victims of the Holocaust and baptise them. That’s right; Anne Frank is now a Mormon. After justifiable outrage form Jewish groups they eventually stopped this process.

Mormonism has zero tolerance of homosexuality. They are forced to appear before the Church court to decide if they will be excommunicated or disfellowed. It is describe as a “problem” by its leaders. It is even claimed that during the 70s homosexuals received electro-shock therapy to “cure” them.

To conclude. Set up by a fraud, containing wildly absurd beliefs, a completely unrealistic holy book, institutional racism, homophobia and they managed to offend Holocaust memorial groups. Ladies and gentlemen, the Mormons.

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